Monday, January 4, 2016

A Preview of 2016

By the world’s most famous think tanks and intelligence analysts

* Experts at the CSIS, the Brookings Institution, the Woodrow Wilson Center and the Carnegie Endowment for World Peace, among other American think tanks, predict that the term of President Obama in office will finally come to an end sometimes during the last quarter of 2016; with their indicators indicating that he will likely be succeeded either by a Republican or a Democrat.

* Professional sanctimonious bastard and occasional GOP presidential candidate, Donald Trump, predicts that 2016 will be “uuuuuge” for him, and his family. However, experts are not sure if he was referring to the size of his ego, or his chances at actually winning the nomination. What they are certain of, however, is that the size of his actual dick is definitely not the issue here, as Mr. Trump’s compensatory manners have always been easy to read.

* The strategic whatchamacallit, Stratfor, forecasts that people will keep on consuming water, eating food and breathing throughout 2016 despite the inherent risks to the environment. They also note that the likelihood of holding an international conference to ban such dangerous activities is still not in the cards for that year.

* Financial analysts at the IMF and the World Bank are forecasting that the world financial systems will witness another meltdown sometimes during 2016, but, they note, that the meltdown will take place during a global economic uptick and increased investments in securities and bonds, a phenomenon which may or may not help to counterbalance the potential effects of the possible meltdown at a time of growing insecurity and rapid repeated fluctuations of stock prices and markets stability.

* Meanwhile, foreign policy experts have unanimously predicted that the world will witness quite a bit of turbulence in 2016 due to conflicts and sheer assholery and incompetence on part of so many world leaders and “those pesky terrorists.” In response, they advise the current administration to do everything it can and want to do, and absolutely nothing that it cannot or does not want to do, in order to ensure that American interests, defined as those things that are particularly interesting to certain segments of the interested public, are protected.

* Finally, and in regard to Syria, Syria experts are seriously predicting that 2016 will be a year of more Syria predictions made by an ever multiplying number of Syria experts who by now should know more or more likely less about Syria than they had few bloody Syrian years ago when they all advocated a policy of active involvement in producing more Syria experts in order to expertly analyze the Syrian situation in a manner that could lead to a greater understanding of the sheer courage and intellectual travails of Syria experts and the difficult challenges they often encounter in a world where their expertise and their growing mental anguish as a result of having to continuously monitor the quagmire that is today’s Syria, on their own, is so callously shunned and ill appreciated by all and sundry, despite being consistently devoid of any common sense, decency or accuracy, that is, the very stuff that news agencies and outlets are always in the hunt for ad with which they continuously bombard us.  

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